by MichaelaChung | May 24, 2014 | Blog, Intimacy, Relationships, Uncategorized
There are people in this life that we can’t seem to let go of. They are emblazed on the underside of our eyelids, written on our hearts and imprisoned in our minds. How can we release them? Should we even bother? The truth is, my dear, that letting go is an act of releasing ourselves. It is palms turned up and opened wide after being clenched for too long. It is freedom from misplaced hope followed by a long sigh of relief. “But I still love him (or her)”, you might say. Fine. There is room enough in your heart to love an infinite amount of people until the end of time. But. You can only afford to give your thoughts, time and energy to those who return your love, multiply it, give it wings. The how you are an exit wound the extra shot of tequila the tangled knot of hair that has to be cut out you are the cell phone ringing in a hushed theatre … you are a poem I cannot write a word I cannot translate you are an exit wound a name I cannot bring myself to say aloud ~Jeanann Verlee, You Are An Exit Wound People will come and go, and they will leave exit wounds. In order to release them we must learn to heal ourselves. To breathe. To whisper sweet nothings in our own ear and be our own best friend. We must keep the promises we make to ourselves and forgive the ones we break. Then, we close the door. We stop looking over our shoulder. We give up...
by MichaelaChung | May 7, 2014 | Blog, Intimacy, Relationships
For women who have daddy issues, women who feel abandoned, unwanted unseen by their father. For women whose fathers left them with a sky full of holes where the stars once hung. For women who never knew their father at all, but look for his approval in every man they meet. For grown up little girls, who are still chasing shadows filled with rain: Your father does not have a womb. He did not form you in his belly. Your value extends beyond the walls of his rib cage. Your worth stretches past the reach of his judgment. His words are not your passport, nor his silence your exile. You are a woman now. Don’t weep for the seed that you’ve...
by MichaelaChung | May 2, 2014 | Blog, Intimacy, Relationships
Heartbreak. I’m sure you’ve been there before. You opened your heart, took the leap, and became intimate with someone. Maybe you had a sexual relationship with this person. Maybe not. More importantly, you delved into the realm of emotional intimacy with another human being. This can be a dark and scary place if you’re not used to being there. So much so, that you might try desperately to escape. Here are four major ways we avoid intimacy and, ultimately, break our own heart. The Phantom Ex “Some things take root in the brain and just don’t let go.” ~ T.S. Elliot According to the book Attached,by Amir Levine, M.D. and Rachel S.F Heller, M.A., one of the ways that people with avoidant attachment talk themselves out of relationships is by holding onto a phantom ex. The phantom ex is the person we drag along with us into every subsequent relationship. He or she is the one we think of longingly whenever we encounter something unpleasant about our new lover. All of our memories of this person are bathed in sunshine and warm feelings. We are forever searching for another version of our phantom. Dreams of Someone Better “We are like sculptors, constantly carving out of others the image we long for, need, love or desire, often against reality, against their benefit, and always, in the end, a disappointment, because it does not fit them.” ~ Anais Nin Our thoughts feelings and fantasies create our world. When we constantly imagine ourselves with someone else, we’ve already left our current partner in our mind. It’s only a matter of time before...
by MichaelaChung | Apr 11, 2014 | Authenticity, Blog, Relationships
When we begin embracing our authentic self, there are consequences. Many of these consequences are surprisingly delicious, and completely welcome. They leave us asking, why didn’t I do this sooner? But authenticity also comes with some distressing side effects. Sometimes, when we reveal who we truly are, we make others feel uncomfortable. The reality is, not everyone knows how to love the real you. Peeling back the layers The real you is an anomaly. For the right people, you are a welcome exception to the rule – a beautifully strange addition to their world. For others, you are a looming question mark in a land of absolutes. Your complexity stirs confusion, and even fear, in such people. They are shallow swimmers, easily drowned by the depths of your heart. They’re not ready for deeper penetration. This is unfortunate because peeling back the layers of one’s personality is a form of foreplay; the slow, tender undressing of the soul is the definition of seduction. Many people can’t get beyond the first layer. They’re so busy fumbling with your overcoat that they never discover the French lace underneath. Don’t bend, don’t water it down For some, you will always be too much, or not enough. In their eyes, you are too strange, too different, too difficult to understand, and easy to take for granted. They want more of what you aren’t, and less of what you truly are. They will try to change you. Don’t give in. Resist the temptation to flatten your complexity and water down your soul. “Don’t bend; don’t water it down; don’t try to make...
